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…And Now For Some Billy Mays

December 28, 2007

These days, it’s hard to avoid the incredibly annoying pitchman named Billy Mays.  It seems that he shows up on just about any channel to SHOUT you into buying anything from the Hercules Hook to Samurai Shark to Lint-B-Gone.  You know, this guy…the new Mr. As-Seen-On-TV:

billymays1-small.jpg

From a salesmanship perspective, he’s obviously good at what he does.  To me, however, I don’t think there is anyone else on TV that forces my finger towards the channel + button on the remote as quickly.  So if you’re like me, you’ll probably get a kick out of this:

Also, be sure to check out the humorous comments and sound bites over at Billy Mays Mayhem.

And as long as we’re on the subject, I might as well try my hand at a Billy Mays impersonation for a little shameless self-promotion…

…*ahem*…

INTRODUCING THE AMAZING CHENZHEN! 

HE BLOGS,
HE COMMENTS,
HE LURKS,
HE PINGS,
HE EMAILS,
HE TROLLS! 

IF HE DISCOVERS A BLOGGER THAT IS BEING DISINGENUOUS, EGOTISTIC, OR JUST PLAIN SILLY…HE FLAMES WITH IMPUNITY!  

FEEL LIKE LEAVING A COMMENT ON HIS BLOG?  NO PROBLEM!  REGISTRATION IS NOT REQUIRED!   WATCH AS HE RESPONDS WITH BRUTAL HONESTY! 

WANT TO SEND HIM SOMETHING IN PRIVATE?  YOU’RE IN LUCK; HE’S GOT A CONTACT FORM! 

THIS INCREDIBLE BLOGGER HAS A BLOGROLL,  HE’S GOT ARCHIVES, HE’S GOT A COMMENT TRACKER…EVEN MUSIC! 

…AND IF YOU CALL WITHIN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES…IT’S FREE!

16 comments

  1. What about shipping and handling ? Have a happy and safe New Year I2TF


  2. Your on-topic Family Guy fix for the day:
    http://www.zippyvideos.com/6367556144512836/wacky/


  3. I’ll add him to my list of reasons why I just don’t miss my TV.


  4. Oh YES!! It is not just me then! I love the Billy Mays Mayhem site too, BTW, but I still wonder how Mays worked out this deal to a.) become the general spokesman for all products thought “too good to be true” (seriously, how does one get that job?) and b.) getting the volume to increase so dramatically when his ads come on?

    One other question that haunts me to this day: I bought Kaboom! once, the spray on version (at the store dammit, not from the TV!), and the label read “new and improved”. But these products are PERFECT already, they’re “miracle products”! What was there to improve, huh? Other than the fact that it in fact got none of the soap scum off of my shower doors? NONE!?!?


  5. LOL… funny!

    Have a Happy and Safe New Year!

    🙂


  6. in2thefray, that was my first thought, too!

    Lex, you’re right about improving “miracle products!”

    Chenzhen, you forgot “He educates! He entertains! *Batteries not included.”


  7. Last night he was pitching this miracle cloth that soaks up immense amounts of water. This same product was once advertised on TV by some other company, but now Billy Mays has it, so there has to be something going on here. Especially with the “dusting” attachment that he can’t control himself from running his fingers through….

    Chen, can you add some Gao Feng to the music? I am having a hard time with getting fellow Gao fans at YouTube to post videos. I have a master copy of the “China Online” video, but it must be converted to digital. It’s just, well, poor Gao!


  8. Re: Gao Feng …I’ll have to take a look and see if Sonific offers it.


  9. I just watched another one of his ads for “Mighty Putty” (video). This guy is a friggin celebrity now. Official spokesman for all crappy “miracle” products.


  10. Chen–yep, and how on Earth do you get that job? I did look at that bottle of spray on “Kaboom!” and it said “now tougher on soap scum”. It was already supposed to be the toughest thing out there, an alternative to the other products. As a bonus, I tried it on one set of shower doors, and another cleaner on another. The other “name-brand” cleaner kicked “Kaboom!” squarely in the ass. Kaboom! didn’t do a thing, other than take the whole bottle to spray onto the doors. I guess that’s why it was on clearance. My older daughter already hated Billy Mays by the time she was about 5. Passionately. She wants to kill him. She does, however, like The Crocodile Hunter, so there is something in there that little kids can still see. Very odd.

    I found only one Gao video on YouTube here:

    I need to just run it. Very pop, but pretty. We just knew Gao before his untimely death. Poor guy.


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