Whether it involves changing the rules midstream to provide oneself a “hit” or your opponent a “miss”, this emblem is attached to a Chamber comment that “moves the goal posts” in a debate.
For a generic example:
Netizen A claims X is true. Netizen B claims X is false. When confronted with overwhelming evidence that supports Netizen A’s argument, Netizen B insists X doesn’t matter because of Y. (argument might then shift to debate validity of Y)
Well, the Florida results are in, and Rudy’s out.
The question that is undoubtedly on many people’s minds: What the heck happened to Giuliani? I think we’ve just witnessed a campaign roll off a hill, and I’m not quite sure what caused it. According to most polls, Rudy was the frontrunner for most of 2007, and as late as early December still had double-digit leads over most of the other candidates, including John McCain.
| 1/15-17/08 | 12/3-5/07 | 11/5-7/07 | ||||
| % | % | % | ||||
| John McCain |
22 |
13 |
13 |
|
||
| Mike Huckabee |
16 |
18 |
10 |
|
||
| Mitt Romney |
16 |
12 |
12 |
|
||
| Rudy Giuliani |
14 |
26 |
29 |
|
||
| Fred Thompson |
9 |
11 |
19 |
|
||
| Ron Paul |
4 |
3 |
n/a |
|
||
| Other (vol.) |
1 |
1 |
2 |
|
||
| None (vol.) |
8 |
7 |
7 |
|
||
| Unsure |
10 |
9 |
8 |
|
||
| Newt Gingrich |
n/a |
n/a |
n/a |
|
||
| Sam Brownback |
n/a |
n/a |
n/a |
|
Was it “World Wavered, History Hesitated“, or did people simply forget about 9/11? ‘Cause he was there on 9/11.
9/11.
He was there, and he didn’t waver, remember?
Oh what the heck, one more time… for Rudy…
9/11.
For the third installment of the Chamber’s Why Obama series, I’ve picked the foreign policy issue. The same format applies; this is right from the Obama website. However, in the spirit of addressing a topic that arose in the comment section of Part II, I’m going to start off with a narrower focus. For this thread, I’m going to paste a section of an Obama speech on his ideas for restoring American leadership. (All other aspects of Obama’s foreign policy positions and statements are fair game in this discussion and can be found here, but I’ve decided to start with this particular component). From the 4/23/07 speech:
The horrific attacks on that clear September day awakened us to this new reality. And after 9/11, millions around the world were ready to stand with us. They were willing to rally to our cause because it was their cause too – because they knew that if America led the world toward a new era of global cooperation, it would advance the security of people in our nation and all nations.
We now know how badly this Administration squandered that opportunity. In 2002, I stated my opposition to the war in Iraq, not only because it was an unnecessary diversion from the struggle against the terrorists who attacked us on September 11th, but also because it was based on a fundamental misunderstanding of the threats that 9/11 brought to light. I believed then, and believe now, that it was based on old ideologies and outdated strategies – a determination to fight a 21st century struggle with a 20th century mindset.
There is no doubt that the mistakes of the past six years have made our current task more difficult. World opinion has turned against us. And after all the lives lost and the billions of dollars spent, many Americans may find it tempting to turn inward, and cede our claim of leadership in world affairs.
I insist, however, that such an abandonment of our leadership is a mistake we must not make. America cannot meet the threats of this century alone, but the world cannot meet them without America. We must neither retreat from the world nor try to bully it into submission – we must lead the world, by deed and example.
We must lead by building a 21st century military to ensure the security of our people and advance the security of all people. We must lead by marshalling a global effort to stop the spread of the world’s most dangerous weapons. We must lead by building and strengthening the partnerships and alliances necessary to meet our common challenges and defeat our common threats.
And America must lead by reaching out to all those living disconnected lives of despair in the world’s forgotten corners – because while there will always be those who succumb to hate and strap bombs to their bodies, there are millions more who want to take another path – who want our beacon of hope to shine its light their way.
This election offers us the chance to turn the page and open a new chapter in American leadership. The disappointment that so many around the world feel toward America right now is only a testament to the high expectations they hold for us. We must meet those expectations again, not because being respected is an end in itself, but because the security of America and the wider world demands it.
This will require a new spirit – not of bluster and bombast, but of quiet confidence and sober intelligence, a spirit of care and renewed competence. It will also require a new leader. And as a candidate for President of the United States, I am asking you to entrust me with that responsibility.
Obama goes on to propose five ways this can be accomplished, but in the interests of brevity, and to start the discussion, I’m going to address the small portion I bolded above. There may be those out there who feel that our position hasn’t really changed, and the idea that Bush has made the U.S. is less popular globally is a myth and a concoction of the MSM. I suppose if we’re going to address “restoring” something, we should probably get this right out of the way first. So, to support Obama’s contention, I’m going to start with a single graphic:
· ICM interviewed a random sample of 1,010 adults by telephone from October 27-30. Interviews were conducted across the country and the results have been weighted to the profile of all adults. Polling was by phone in Canada (sample 1,007), Israel (1,078) and Mexico (1,010)
In other words, its not just the Mayans. From Italy to India, from Thailand to Turkey, from Germany to Greece, there’s a pretty consistent message going out. We could use some help in this category, to say the least. There’s a reason why international interest in who will replace Bush has reached unprecedented levels. I’m glad that Obama speaks honestly and frankly about it, and I think he’s got the best ideas for turning this around.
The home of “lol catz” macro images, I Can Has Cheezburger?, has become an immensely popular website. In fact, on any given day, those of us who use wordpress.com can see that the site is listed at the #1 spot on the “top blogs” section of our main dashboard page, usually beating out the CNN Political Ticker (which is got to be saying something, given the fact that we’re in the peak of the political season).
I find it pretty strange that a website that contains nothing more than silly pictures could become an internet sensation like this. But if you want to see something really strange, just check out the comment section. A sample:
Wud agree, sept eyem tinkin dat deez bootz wud bee gud bootz fur teh biskitmakin awlso. Mah kitteh nawt lyk two walk 2 mush, perfurs sleepin, butt iz gud at makin biskits on mah hed at siksoklok in teh mawnin wen he tinks iz brekfestime. Deez bootz kud mayk doze ekstrabig biskits yew get in kawfeeshopz.
It goes on and on, for hundreds of comments. In trying to pin down the breed of netizens that I was encountering here, I was drawing a blank for quite a while. Who are these people? Then it dawned on me. Icanhascheezburger.com …is Garble city hall.
Garble is a mystery: Is he a foreigner with only tenuous grasp of English? Is he on drugs? Does he suffer a serious mental debility? Is he typing wearing boxing gloves? Garble’s rampant typos, malapropisms and execrable grammar can’t be blamed solely on poor typing skills.
Garble is all the more puzzling because if one manages to hack his way through the tangled muddle of his messages a discernable idea will often emerge. For example, in a forum discussion about a painting he might say, “Sorry the picchr the har is wrog. The culir. I liike the lips bot teh Paintng is sucs”. When someone refers to his random capitalization Garble might say something like, “oPS i HITTED THE CAPDLOCK”. Garble drives Grammarian and Nitpick absolutely nuts, but he disdains all efforts at correction, and if complaints persist he will indignantly sign exit saying, “yuor forum si stupef. bYE!” HINT: Garble may be Net Rat.
As I stated in an earlier post, I’m a fan of the Rambo franchise, so I took advantage of my day off on Friday (opening day) and caught the 2:40 showing at the local theater. The first thing I gotta say is that I don’t go to movies that often, so I forgot how expensive this can be (the ticket was $7, and the soda/popcorn combo was $10.50), but I have no regrets.
The movie takes place in southeast Asia, as we’re introduced to a bit of background story involving the ongoing war in Burma, followed by the revelation that John Rambo has settled down in a Thai village as a riverboat guide and snake wrangler. It was only a few minutes into the movie when the Christian missionaries/aid workers arrive and ask him to give them a ride up the river to help the Burmese. John reluctantly agrees after warning them that they’re wasting their time, and the story is off and running. ( I was kind of left with the impression that Stallone went ahead and assumed that anyone that went to see this film was familiar with John Rambo’s history, as there wasn’t a whole lot of character development going on).
Anyway, the missionaries of course get caught, and Rambo is asked to hook up with a band of mercenaries to attempt to rescue them from a Burmese military camp (a camp that is very reminiscent of the Vietnamese camp in Rambo II, incidentally). I don’t want to be a complete spoiler, so let’s just say that, in the end, Rambo saves the missionaries (well, some of them at least) and the mercs (again, some of them) and kills about a 100 or so bad guys in the process. Roll credits.
In short, this movie was thin on plot and thick on, um, Rambo. In other words, it didn’t really pretend to be anything other than it was, and for a 10-minute span at the end of the film especially, it was an absolute orgy of graphic violence. ( I’m not sure if there’s a record somewhere for individual visual deaths per minute, but I’m sure this one would rank up there) Don’t worry about shedding any tears of those on the other end of Rambo’s machine gun either, the bad guys are very bad guys. They’re good for some rape, genocide, dead pools, killing children, torture, feeding prisoners to pigs, and even a little NAMBLA action just for good measure. So, let’s be honest, for Rambo fans, this is exactly what we were paying for. No one was expecting to see something akin to Saving Private Ryan, after all. So, in that spirit, it delivered….bigtime.
Memorable quote: “Live for nothing, or die for something…your call”
Classic moment: The look of disbelief on the mercenaries faces after witnessing Rambo single-handedly taking out a handful of bad guys with his bow and arrow, having been upstaged by the “boat man”.
Something noteworthy: Unlike previous Rambo films, the movie lacked a scene involving an antagonist capturing and subsequently torturing Rambo in some cruel and inventive way.
Something I didn’t know previously: Rambo is a blacksmith. The large knife depicted in previous films was apparently abandoned, replaced by a more machete-like weapon that he was able to forge specifically for the mission.
Overall rating: 4 out of 5 (throwing) stars
Update: Thanks to Sliquid for the email on these stats. I cannot be certain of the accuracy of any of this (only one person killed in the first movie?), but it is interesting nonetheless.
click to view
For the second installment of the Chamber’s Why Obama series, I’ve picked the homeland security issue. The same format applies; this is right from the Obama website:
Obama homeland security fact sheet (pdf)
The Problem
Five years after 9/11, our country is still unprepared for a terrorist attack. From improving security for our transit systems and chemical plants, to increasing cargo screening in our airports and seaports, the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission have been underfunded and ignored. The 9/11 Commission gave the government five F’s and 12 D’s on the implementation of its recommendations. Senator Obama is a member of the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee and has supported efforts to base homeland security spending on risk rather than pork-barrel politics. He has also introduced legislation to strengthen chemical plant and drinking water security and to enhance disaster preparedness.
Barack Obama’s Plan
Protecting Our Chemical Plants
Chemical plants are attractive terrorist targets because they are often located near cities, are relatively easy to attack, and contain multi-ton quantities of hazardous chemicals. While a number of plants have taken voluntary steps to improve security, there are still major gaps; and the federal government has never established meaningful, permanent security regulations. Senator Obama worked with Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) to introduce comprehensive chemical plant security legislation that would establish a clear set of federal regulations that all plants must follow. The bill requires chemical facilities to enhance security, including improving barriers, containment, mitigation, and safety training, and, where possible, using safer technology, such as less toxic chemicals
Keeping Track of Spent Nuclear Fuel
The nation has 103 operating nuclear power plants which annually produce over 2,000 metric tons of spent fuel that remains highly radioactive for many years. A report by the Government Accountability Office found inadequate tracking and security for spent nuclear fuel rods. Nuclear plants in Connecticut, Vermont and California have reported missing spent fuel in the last five years. Senator Obama introduced legislation to establish guidelines for tracking, controlling, and accounting for spent fuel at nuclear power plants.
Evacuating Special Needs Population in Emergencies
One of the most devastating aspects of Hurricane Katrina is that most of the stranded victims were society’s most vulnerable members – low-income families, the elderly, the homeless, and disabled Americans. Too many states and cities do not have adequate plans in place to care for special-needs populations. Senator Obama introduced and passed legislation to require mandatory planning for evacuating people with special needs.
Reuniting Families After Emergencies
After Hurricane Katrina, thousands of people struggled to contact family and friends following evacuation. Evacuees were forced to comb through dozens of databases in an effort to reconnect with loved ones. Senator Obama introduced and passed legislation to create a centralized, federal database to allow individuals displaced by an emergency to call one phone number or go to one website and post their location and condition. Family members and law enforcement officials would be able to use this same secure, centralized system to check the status of missing loved ones.
Keeping Our Drinking Water Safe
There are almost 170,000 public water systems in the United States. An attack on a drinking water system could contaminate or disrupt water service, thereby disrupting society, impacting human health and compromising critical activities such as fire protection. Senator Obama introduced legislation to provide $37.5 million over 5 years for drinking water systems to upgrade their monitoring and security efforts.
Protecting the Public from Radioactive Releases
Following reports that nuclear power plants in Illinois did not promptly notify local communities that tritium – a byproduct of nuclear generation – had leaked into the groundwater, Senator Obama introduced legislation to require nuclear plants to inform state and local officials if there is an unintentional leak of a radioactive substance. Chronic exposure to high levels of tritium can increase the risk of cancer, birth defects and genetic damage.
Barack Obama’s Record
There have been tritium leaks at other nuclear plants, though none so extensive as at Braidwood. The uproar over Braidwood prompted the Nuclear Energy Institute to outline a voluntary policy for monitoring tritium leaks and reporting such incidents. Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) has vowed to continue to push for federal legislation that requires reporting. “The nuclear industry already had a voluntary policy, and it hasn’t worked,” he said. Exelon’s past actions have helped to prove his point.
— Chicago Tribune, Editorial, May 25, 2006
We could kill a hundred thousand men in the deserts of the Middle East, and it still wouldn’t change the fact that a single terrorist cell here in the U.S. could strike at any number of our vulnerabilities. Needless to say, I’ve long argued that the “fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them here” rhetoric lies in the domain of two-dimensional thinking (not to mention a desperate attempt at retrograde justification for the Iraq debacle). I was glad to see that Obama’s plan addresses many of the gaps in our security (outlined in the pdf), including the need for the screening of all inbound cargo at our ports. I’ve never really understood the logic behind spending hundreds of billions of dollars to fund an ongoing occupation in Iraq while basic steps to “terror proof” our homeland have been largely ignored. Obama and I are also on the same page in recognising that while intelligence is vital to preventing terrorist attacks, we cannot allow fear to drive us to sacrifice the civil liberties that defines our country.
It only took about a year, but I finally got around to adding these enhancements:
Site Meter – Lots of interesting stats about where visitors to the Chamber are coming from, how long they’re staying, and what they’re reading. You’ll see an ambiguous number sitting in my sidebar under “other stuff”, and if you click on it, you’ll be transported to the control panel. Have fun! (note- unfortunately, wordpress.com blogs do not allow javascript to be inserted anywhere by us lowly netizens, so the features aren’t quite as robust as they could be)
TTLB– Short for The Truth Laid Bear, it is a popular blog aggregator and ranking system. You might have seen other blogs with something in their sidebars reading “I’m a ____ in the TTLB EcoSystem”, well…now I’m in the ecosystem. Since I’m getting in fairly late, however, I imagine that I’ll just have to deal with the low blog cred for awhile. Fortunately for me, the aforementioned javascript restriction doesn’t allow me to advertise it. Aw shucks.
First, the story: Interrogator: Invasion Surprised Saddam
Saddam Hussein initially didn’t think the U.S. would invade Iraq to destroy weapons of mass destruction, so he kept the fact that he had none a secret to prevent an Iranian invasion he believed could happen. The Iraqi dictator revealed this thinking to George Piro, the FBI agent assigned to interrogate him after his capture…
hmmm…did Piro ask him nicely, or was there waterboarding involved? Was Saddam really playing the “peace through (perceived) strength” game?
Anyway…
Second, cue the predictable knee-jerk rightosphere reaction: Saddam lied, people died (x2) oops … (x3) darnit! (x4) you gotta be kidding me (x5)
cliffs notes: The war was necessary because Bush (and the rest of the world) believed Saddam’s lies. Ergo, Bush exonerated.
Third, a nice stroll down memory lane, hinting at how much Bush actually believed what Saddam was saying at the time (a visual aid via the White House site):
I love this. We presumably sent in inspectors because we didn’t trust Saddam (inspectors that we may recall, were advised by us to leave Iraq, after they had found nothing). Now these bloggers are implying that the war was necessary because…everyone believed him anyway? Let me get this straight. Saddam was lying before, but not then, and he certainly wasn’t lying to the FBI guy Mr. Piro, so….I’m confused, ’cause somewhere in there Saddam became more trustworthy than the inspectors. Wait a second…then why did we even bother sending them?
Oh! I remember:
It seemed clear that Bush had made up his mind to take military action, even if the timing was not yet decided. But the case was thin. Saddam was not threatening his neighbours, and his WMD capability was less than that of Libya, North Korea or Iran. We should work up a plan for an ultimatum to Saddam to allow back in the UN weapons inspectors. This would also help with the legal justification for the use of force.
I think the bottom line here is that Saddam didn’t think we were crazy enough to spend a trillion dollars and stir up a hornets nest by invading Iraq based on his rep and flimsy intel, especially with the reality of empty-handed U.N. weapons inspectors. He was “surprised” because he had no idea that we were going in regardless.
Update: Subsequent installments to the “Why Obama” series can be found in the comments section of this thread, in the form of pingbacks.
When I announced that the Chamber would be endorsing Senator Barack Obama for president in ’08, I promised to expand on that rationale in posts that would follow. So, here I go.
I’ve decided to stick with a format for these posts, where I will pull (in no particular order) one of Obama’s stances on an issue right off his website, add a few thoughts of my own as to why I support the position, and open it up to debate and discussion. I believe that this format will allow for a sense of consistency and at the same time provide a forum for the issue to be analyzed, picked apart, attacked, and defended. And even though I have endorsed Sen. Obama, remember that I am unafraid to challenge, defend, or concede any point. Also, I hereby promise to strive for intellectual honesty and stay true to my personal beliefs, and I am willing to reconsider any given position based on the presentation of a convincing argument or facts that I was previously unaware of. In short, this is where I test myself, so I encourage others to chime in. Who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind.
The Problem
Undocumented population is exploding: The number of undocumented immigrants in the country has increased more than 40 percent since 2000. Every year, more than a half-million people come illegally or illegally overstay their visas.
Immigration bureaucracy is broken: The immigration bureaucracy is broken and overwhelmed, forcing legal immigrants to wait years for applications.
Immigration raids are ineffective: Despite a sevenfold increase in recent years, immigration raids only netted 3,600 arrests in 2006 and have placed all the burdens of a broken system onto immigrant families.
Barack Obama’s Plan
Create Secure Borders
Obama wants to preserve the integrity of our borders. He supports additional personnel, infrastructure and technology on the border and at our ports of entry.
Improve Our Immigration System
Obama believes we must fix the dysfunctional immigration bureaucracy and increase the number of legal immigrants to keep families together and meet the demand for jobs that employers cannot fill.
Remove Incentives to Enter Illegally
Obama will remove incentives to enter the country illegally by cracking down on employers who hire undocumented immigrants.
Bring People Out of the Shadows
Obama supports a system that allows undocumented immigrants who are in good standing to pay a fine, learn English, and go to the back of the line for the opportunity to become citizens.
Work with Mexico
Obama believes we need to do more to promote economic development in Mexico to decrease illegal immigration.
Barack Obama’s Record
- Crack Down on Employers: Obama championed a proposal to create a system so employers can verify that their employees are legally eligible to work in the U.S.
- Fix the Bureaucracy: Obama joined Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) to introduce the Citizenship Promotion Act to ensure that immigration application fees are both reasonable and fair. Obama also introduced legislation that passed the Senate to improve the speed and accuracy of FBI background checks.
- Respect Families: Obama introduced amendments to put greater emphasis on keeping immigrant families together.
I consider myself to have a relatively uncompassionate view on this topic. In fact, in the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve considered myself to be sympathetic to the stated mission of the Minutemen, in the sense that a community would support the actions of a neighborhood watch group. We have laws, but the methods of enforcement appears to have taken a turn toward a status of “woefully inadequate”. I have no problem abiding the laws of the land on a daily basis, and I would expect the same from anyone who enters this country. I see our porous borders as a significant security risk as well. In short, I’m definitely not in the “open borders” crowd.
That said, I don’t believe that a impenetrable wall or fence is the answer. It seems so 5th century BC, after all. That, and I’m a big fan of the critters. Also, the idea of mass deportations and taking babies out of the hands of their mothers strikes me as inhumane (or in the very least, a punishment that probably doesn’t fit the crime).
So, an answer would seem to lie in bolstering the ability to enforce the law by increasing the number of border agents, taking advantage of 21st century technology (in the form of both border surveillance and identification) and target the enablers (those who knowingly hire illegals). And a path towards citizenship should be offered to those who work hard and otherwise respect our laws, even if the details need to be ironed out.
It’s a difficult issue, characterized by significant scale and far-reaching implicatons and effects, and it’s doubtful that any given solution will go perfectly, but I’d consider Obama’s approach to be very rational.
This is it! It’s the last year of the Bush administration. As much as people like myself feel that this might be cause for some preliminary celebrations, remember that we do have a whole year left. A lot can happen in a year, after all.
Truth be told, I’m a heck of a lot more hopeful than I thought I was going to be at this point. As some of you might know, before I created the Chamber, I was a guest contributor on the now-defunct FearBush.com blog. I actually spent a good portion of 2006 expressing my anti-Bush views over there. So while it probably goes without saying that I’m looking forward to his departure from office, I going to go ahead and admit that I’m not as passionate about it as I used to be.
The founders of FB.com had originally predicted back in 2000 that Bush’s ascendancy into the White House meant certain disaster, marked by global war (at best) or nuclear armageddon (at worst) . “GWB=WWIII” was the underlying theme. Now, while that prediction was considered by many as kooky at first, there was a certain amount of vindication for it later, as the nation marched off to invade not one county but two, culminating with the president himself using the phrase World War III when describing the conflict that he’s overseeing. Without a doubt, Bush’s legacy will be one that revolves around war. But even after the countless thousands dead, billions of dollars spent, and the unknowable consequences and blowback that may lie ahead, it’s hard to honestly say that America has been damaged to the point where it cannot recover. Bush has been terrible, but not quite as terrible as had been predicted. Of course, there’s still a year left (which might be why there are still calls for impeachment).
Over the last year, I’ve definitely softened my tone with regards to Bush. The facts are still the facts, but maybe I’ve just adopted more of a “glass half-full” mindset. I’ve almost come to pity the man. Here’s a guy that was elevated into a position that was clearly over his head, based on little more than name recognition, who appears to have aged 20 years over the course of seven, and can’t seem to put together a single coherent sentence on his own. The poor guy is so unpopular that he can’t even come out and campaign with any of the Republican candidates, and for the first time since 1928 the outgoing administration isn’t offering up a VP for the job. Americans are so anxious to move on that campaigning began earlier than any time in my life, and even the Iowa caucus was moved up 2 weeks. Heck, the world can’t wait to move on. As sad as it is that such a man could be elected president (twice), I’ve come to realize that these things don’t necessarily mean that he’s evil. After all, we’re still here, right? It could be worse! Maybe it’s just Cheney who’s evil.
So, as we head into the last year of what will probably be viewed as the worst administration in America’s history, I’ll cross my fingers and hope that these people are so politically marginalized that they can’t do any more damage. A strike on Iran seems less likely than it did a year ago, Iraq is still a mess but showing signs of progress, he’s probably done nominating anyone else to serve on the Supreme Court, and we haven’t had a major hurricane in awhile. He can probably sit back and let others make headlines as the nation focuses on choosing who will finally replace him.
At least I’m hoping…
Make sense? No?
Well, according to Rudy Giuliani’s campaign, it should. Add in the “movie guy” voice-over, along with images from 9/11, and it is intended to resonate, I guess. Why else would he put this new TV ad on the front page of his site?
“When the world wavered, and history hesitated, Rudy never did.”
What’s going on here? Is Rudy’s campaign suffering from the writers strike or something? I mean, if you’re going to (once again) exploit 9/11 for the purposes of bolstering your floundering campaign, one would hope that anyone with better than a elementary level education should be able to come up with a better line than “history hesitated”. Good grief.
“History hesitated”. This is going to bug me all day now. Oh well. Perhaps, years form now, it might make a good crossword puzzle entry:
Down
…
44. history hesitated, he didn’t
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44R |
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U |
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D |
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Y |
(h/t TPMelectioncentral)
Have you ever been out for drinks with friends or co-workers on karaoke night? Chances are, you have. It never fails: The drinks start flowing, the music is playing, and eventually someone in the group gets dared to go up on stage and risk the potential embarrassment of revealing that they can’t carry a tune to save their life. In those situations, one is faced with the tough no-win decision to either be the party pooper or endure the nerve-wracking experience.
Having faced this situation several times myself, I felt compelled to search for “safe” songs, i.e. songs that virtually anyone can sing, while being something the audience will enjoy and possibly even sing along with. This can be a real lifesaver, as it gives you the opportunity to not only avoid humiliation, but rather to bring the proverbial house down. When you’re done, you’ll confidently thumb your nose at the Julio Iglesias wannabe sitting across the bar while high fiving your friends. So without further ado, here are my top 5:
1. Warren Zevon– Werewolves of London The lyrics are more spoken than they are sung, so all you have to do is make sure you have a decent “a-ooo!”, and you’re set. And while you probably won’t be able to dance around with a cue stick ala Tom Cruise in The Color of Money, you might want to find a good-looking female to direct your attention to when the “his hair was perfect” line comes up, for added style points (assuming you aren’t wearing a hat, or bald).
2. ZZ Top– Sharp Dressed Man This song is especially fun if you just got off work and you’re still in your suit and/or tie, so if you got it, flaunt it. You’re responsible for a grand total of about 2 notes, so even the most tone-deaf of us out there should be able to hack through this song without a problem. Feel free to do the ZZ “point” during the guitar solo.
3. George Thorogood & the Destroyers– Bad To The Bone No matter how b-b-b-b-b-bad your singing skills might be, you’ll probably be able to handle this one. Instant bar cred, too. If you’re feeling less “bad” and more, um, “drunk”, try to avoid I Drink Alone …Wouldn’t be prudent, after all.
4. Dire Straits– Sultans of Swing Unlike Money For Nothing, this cut doesn’t have a long intro, so you can avoid standing uncomfortably in front of everyone while you wait for your part to begin. Even better, it’s probably easier to sing anyway. Beware of the urge to play air guitar on the outro, however.
5. Boz Skaggs– Lido Shuffle If you ever saw Boz perform live (check the link), you’d see that the guy ain’t that great of a singer himself, so it is perfectly acceptable to sound like a drunken sailor during this classic. Also, there’s a good chance that the rest of the bar will help you out during the chorus, so you probably won’t have to worry about hitting all the notes (if you aren’t confident of your ability, go ahead skip a few of them; Boz does). Depending on where you are, and what time it is, the “one more for the road” line could really go over well too.
I hope this helps. Just keep these selections in mind before the buzz gets the better of you, and you decide to do something stupid and bite off more than you can chew with a selection like Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’. Trust me, I’ve made that mistake.
Also see: Shortcuts: How to sing karaoke
I just realized that today marks the first anniversary of post numero uno here in the Chamber. I don’t have any cake or candles, but I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the readers and visitors for stopping by over the past year. It’s a fun hobby, and I hope to continue doing this for many more.
Also, thanks to the people at WordPress for creating this free soapbox.
I don’t have much more to add (I’m not a big fan of birthdays), but I’ll just mention that if you want to celebrate the occasion with a “look back”, you can teleport to a random post by clicking the
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ChenZhen says: Sometimes it may take a few days (or even a week) for a fresh post to appear here in the Chamber. Don't be fooled; I'm around. As a brave nomadic warrior of the political web, I spend quite a bit of time engaged on other sites, that's all. If you wish, follow my adventures via the "track CZ sightings" RSS feed below. |
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Founder of the 
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site factoids: The handle ChenZhen is inspired by this movie, while the Chamber idea came from this one. Images in the 16 rotating headers were photoshopped from pictures taken at the Shaolin Temple. Artwork courtesy of: |
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Digg- Moonbat Watch the politico: politics 08 Hot Air
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ChenZhen is the...
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General 
ChenZhen |
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ChenZhen's Chamber 