Archive for August 1st, 2008


Imminent Suicide Watch For Everyone In Wisconsin?

August 1, 2008

I’m sure I’m not alone out there when it comes to people who are sports junkies or even casual news observers and are to the point of suffering from a bit of Brett Favre overload.  The guy has been in the news almost daily with America sitting on the edge of her seat, waiting to see what the Green Bay Packer legend’s next career move might be.   I’ve reached the conclusion at this point that the guy might be a bona fide drama queen, and is secretly relishing all the attention.  I mean, how long ago was it that he actually cried in front of the cameras?  March?

“I know I can play, but I don’t think I want to,” the quarterback said at an emotional news conference at Lambeau Field. “It’s been a great career for me, but it’s over.”

Yea m’kay.  There’s got to be some sort of man law drawn up somewhere that says that when you announce your retirement and get up in front of everyone and actually break down crying, there’s no coming out.  That’s it, you’re done.  But no.

Anyway, for a guy like me living across the boarder here in Minnesota, I could imagine at the time the legions of “cheese heads” glued to their TV’s, hanging on every word, tears dripping down in unison.  You see, Packer fans aren’t ordinary fans.  They actually exemplify the root wood, and they’re everywhere in Wisconsin.  Heck, they are Wisconsin, and they’re positively obnoxious.  Indoctrinated at birth, too:

And Favre isn’t any ordinary Packer.  Fill in the blank for which God-like figure you want used as a similie. 

In fact, if I was asked why people in Minnesota hate the Packers so much (and vise versa), I’d say that it’s not the Packers themselves.  It’s the crazy cheese heads.

So imagine what might go through the Dairy Staters noggins when they see a headline like this: Vikings could be back in the Favre picture

GREEN BAY, WIS. – The Green Bay Packers, driven to the brink of desperation in their ongoing spat with Brett Favre, have discussed internally the possibility of trading the quarterback within the NFC North Division.

A source close to the situation told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on Wednesday that the Packers were considering seeking a deal with one of their division rivals, most likely the Vikings or Chicago Bears, if backed into a corner by the NFL and public sentiment.

Now, obviously nothing’s been decided yet, but if on Sept. 8, Brett Favre marches in to Lambeau Field on the Monday night opener wearing Viking purple…watch out.  While such a scenario would ultimately be a boon for TV ratings and revenue, it’d be bad news for Wisconsin.  We might just see quite a bit more than just a never-ending flow of angry phone calls into talk radio shows coming form over there.  I’d look for death threats, an increase in domestic violence, suicide notes, burning cars, rampant unemployment and people lying passed-out drunk in alleys all across the state.

Update:  Crisis averted?  Favre heads to Green Bay as NFL announces reinstatement