Introducing…The ChamberBurger!

September 21, 2008

I thought I’d take a break from political blogging for a second, and reveal a little culinary masterpiece that I discovered by accident.

First, a little background…

I sat here in front of my TV watching the various NFL games on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, felt pretty hungry, and decided I was either too lazy or too unwilling to pry myself away from the action to make a run to the grocery store (or to Mickey D’s), so I was left to make do with whatever I had left in the kitchen.  I took a look around, and noticed that I had a few of those cheap frozen hamburger patties (but no buns), four slices of bread (but no lunchmeat or lettuce), eggs, cheese, chips, and a few condiments.  The time had come to get a little creative.

So, I gathered everything I had together, fired up the grill, and slapped a pan on the stove.  I knew that if I was going to use the bread in place of buns, the patties would have to be well-done, so I started there first and put two of them on the ‘ol Aussie.   Once those were about ready, I threw the cheese on, popped the bread in the toaster, and cracked an egg on the stove.  Here’s the rather tall stack of a sandwich that I wound up with:

  1. toast (end slice)
  2. egg
  3. toast
  4. patty (w/cheese)
  5. mustard, mayo, and dill relish
  6. toast 
  7. patty (w/cheese)
  8. toast

Add some chips, and it looks like this (yes, I took a picture):

click for jumbo size

click for jumbo size

As you can see, this meal isn’t exactly the healthiest thing out there.  In fact, it’s probably a heart attack on a plate.  I have no idea how many calories I was staring at, but after struggling to get my mouth around the thing, I must say that it was friggin DELICIOUS.  

Shaggy and Scooby would be proud:

Click to Play!


  1. that looks disgusting and fattening, love the game, very fun.

  2. Did I mention that it was DELICIOUS?

  3. Tex has made me lose my appetite.

  4. Eggs plus burgers is a time-honored tradition.

  5. According to my calculations, that monstrosity of a meat sandwich was produced via 10,000 acres of corn with an energy efficiency rate worse then a H2 driver on a paper route with a bad O2 sensor. Nice going Chen, the Zimbabwean children thank you from the bottom of their stomachs.

  6. hahaha! Next time, I think I’ll try two eggs!

  7. Dead rabbit brings up a great point. You work so hard to be a ‘hyper-miler,’ have you given any thought to the carbon footprint your weekly menu makes? I guess going vegetarian is a littl harder than checking your tire pressure?

  8. Well Mike, my motivation for hypermiling wasn’t about reducing my carbon footprint. I figure I can sleep at night saying that I’m anti big oil and pro big food. lol

  9. Yeah I know, I was just giving you a hard time. Although, big-food aren’t exactly a bunch of saints themselves.

  10. Take it from someone who has had a heart attack at 34 years of age—check your cholesterol regularly.

  11. Chen,

    That looks like something a slacker would make to eat…

    Did you pull out a head of rotting lettuce and pour some salad dressing on like I used to do while in college – I mean, not even cut it up. Just pour salad dressing over the top.

  12. No Tex, I can honestly say the I’ve never done that.

  13. “Did you pull out a head of rotting lettuce and pour some salad dressing on like I used to do while in college – I mean, not even cut it up. Just pour salad dressing over the top.”

    As long as it’s not nasty iceberg lettuce, I’ll do this from time to time and call it a “salad.” I’ll also eat a sweet pepper like it’s hand fruit. Why waste dishes?

  14. Iceburg lettuce was all I could afford. I’d peel the brown leaf part off, get a little ranch dressing, chomp down, and um um good!

    Of course, I weighed about 20lbs less then. Perhaps I should go buy some more dressing. I’m getting tired of cleaning dishes myself.

  15. I have trouble affording anything but iceberg lettuce at the moment myself, but totally cut the crap food and beer to come up with the extra bucks. I realized iceberg lettuce is basically a nutritional non-entity. In that sense, buying iceberg lettuce is kind of a waste of money. I’d rather spend a few extra cents and actually get some food out of it. Lettuce in general isn’t nutrient packed. If I want the most nutrients for my dollar, I go with whole fruit and vegetables.

    As you can tell, I’m no great chef.

    Iceberg lettuce:

  16. Mike,

    I’ve been reading some interesting, new material on diet. Most in the medical field now agree there is no one “great” diet. Inuits, for example, have a diet of whale blubber, fatty fish and kuanniq or edible seaweed – very high in both protein and fat, yet Inuits have a fairly long life span.

    Basically, a healthy diet boils down to this. You eat as few as calories as possible, as balanced in fat, protein and carbohydrates as possible, while still consuming the necessary 10 amino acids your body doesn’t produce but requires.

    From what I learned from medical school biochemistry, about the only diet they have found that actually extends life is a very low calorie diet.

    Even exercise generally doesn’t help to extend life much other than to be used a preventative for cardiovascular disease. It obviously improves the quality of life by strengthening the support structures and quality is what we’re all striving for anyway.

    More interesting to me, they have also recently discovered a vegan diet isn’t necessarily that great for you.

  17. I’ve heard about these low-calorie diets, and it’s super interesting. Unfortunately, they don’t fit my long-term goals, which require a substantial amount of exercise. Thus I need quite a few more calories than the low-calorie diets allow for. At least that’s my understanding. At this point, I’d rather achieve my goals and lead a richer life rather than simply a longer life. Maybe I’ll change my mind in my mid-70’s, but right now I’ve made that choice.

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