Archive for the ‘nfl’ Category


Introducing…The ChamberBurger!

September 21, 2008

I thought I’d take a break from political blogging for a second, and reveal a little culinary masterpiece that I discovered by accident.

First, a little background…

I sat here in front of my TV watching the various NFL games on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, felt pretty hungry, and decided I was either too lazy or too unwilling to pry myself away from the action to make a run to the grocery store (or to Mickey D’s), so I was left to make do with whatever I had left in the kitchen.  I took a look around, and noticed that I had a few of those cheap frozen hamburger patties (but no buns), four slices of bread (but no lunchmeat or lettuce), eggs, cheese, chips, and a few condiments.  The time had come to get a little creative.

So, I gathered everything I had together, fired up the grill, and slapped a pan on the stove.  I knew that if I was going to use the bread in place of buns, the patties would have to be well-done, so I started there first and put two of them on the ‘ol Aussie.   Once those were about ready, I threw the cheese on, popped the bread in the toaster, and cracked an egg on the stove.  Here’s the rather tall stack of a sandwich that I wound up with:

  1. toast (end slice)
  2. egg
  3. toast
  4. patty (w/cheese)
  5. mustard, mayo, and dill relish
  6. toast 
  7. patty (w/cheese)
  8. toast

Add some chips, and it looks like this (yes, I took a picture):

click for jumbo size

click for jumbo size

As you can see, this meal isn’t exactly the healthiest thing out there.  In fact, it’s probably a heart attack on a plate.  I have no idea how many calories I was staring at, but after struggling to get my mouth around the thing, I must say that it was friggin DELICIOUS.  

Shaggy and Scooby would be proud:

Click to Play!


Imminent Suicide Watch For Everyone In Wisconsin?

August 1, 2008

I’m sure I’m not alone out there when it comes to people who are sports junkies or even casual news observers and are to the point of suffering from a bit of Brett Favre overload.  The guy has been in the news almost daily with America sitting on the edge of her seat, waiting to see what the Green Bay Packer legend’s next career move might be.   I’ve reached the conclusion at this point that the guy might be a bona fide drama queen, and is secretly relishing all the attention.  I mean, how long ago was it that he actually cried in front of the cameras?  March?

“I know I can play, but I don’t think I want to,” the quarterback said at an emotional news conference at Lambeau Field. “It’s been a great career for me, but it’s over.”

Yea m’kay.  There’s got to be some sort of man law drawn up somewhere that says that when you announce your retirement and get up in front of everyone and actually break down crying, there’s no coming out.  That’s it, you’re done.  But no.

Anyway, for a guy like me living across the boarder here in Minnesota, I could imagine at the time the legions of “cheese heads” glued to their TV’s, hanging on every word, tears dripping down in unison.  You see, Packer fans aren’t ordinary fans.  They actually exemplify the root wood, and they’re everywhere in Wisconsin.  Heck, they are Wisconsin, and they’re positively obnoxious.  Indoctrinated at birth, too:

And Favre isn’t any ordinary Packer.  Fill in the blank for which God-like figure you want used as a similie. 

In fact, if I was asked why people in Minnesota hate the Packers so much (and vise versa), I’d say that it’s not the Packers themselves.  It’s the crazy cheese heads.

So imagine what might go through the Dairy Staters noggins when they see a headline like this: Vikings could be back in the Favre picture

GREEN BAY, WIS. – The Green Bay Packers, driven to the brink of desperation in their ongoing spat with Brett Favre, have discussed internally the possibility of trading the quarterback within the NFC North Division.

A source close to the situation told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on Wednesday that the Packers were considering seeking a deal with one of their division rivals, most likely the Vikings or Chicago Bears, if backed into a corner by the NFL and public sentiment.

Now, obviously nothing’s been decided yet, but if on Sept. 8, Brett Favre marches in to Lambeau Field on the Monday night opener wearing Viking purple…watch out.  While such a scenario would ultimately be a boon for TV ratings and revenue, it’d be bad news for Wisconsin.  We might just see quite a bit more than just a never-ending flow of angry phone calls into talk radio shows coming form over there.  I’d look for death threats, an increase in domestic violence, suicide notes, burning cars, rampant unemployment and people lying passed-out drunk in alleys all across the state.

Update:  Crisis averted?  Favre heads to Green Bay as NFL announces reinstatement


Please, Make It Stop

November 19, 2007

Here’s a commercial that football fans in Minnesota are undoubtedly familiar with by now.  Over that last few weeks, it seems like I’ve seen it a few dozen times.  crystal-and-chantelle.jpgIt’s an ad for the local radio station KXXR (aka 93.7 FM aka 93X) and it features two fairly attractive females clumsily lip synching the vocals of various music clips.  That in and of itself is pretty cheesy, but when you add the parts where they mouth the words of dubbed in male voices shouting things like “93X Rocks!”, the result is something that is slightly, um…deranged.  The intent here was obviously to focus on sex appeal, but the overdubbing absolutely kills it to the point of being somewhat disturbing.

The folks at 93X obviously think they’ve hit one out of the proverbial park:

Meet Crystal and Chantelle … You can check them out in 93X‘s latest commercial. If you haven’t seen it yet … it’s HOT!

Hot?  Sure, if you like girls sporting a baritone.  Interestingly, this isn’t the first ad for 93X with this theme:

2006 w/ Playboy Playmate

And there’s more.  93x isn’t the only radio station to decide that this type of thing appealed to their target market.  Also on YouTube:



One gets the impression that it’s possible that all these were produced by the same people.  Producers who appear to have some strange fetish for having male voices coming out of female lips.  After all, it’s hard to believe that market researchers sat in on focus groups and had some epiphany that led them in this direction. 


ChenZhen’s Fantasy Football Roster

September 4, 2007

Since I didn’t really feel like blogging about Larry Craig again, I decided that tonight’s entry will be a little more on the lighter side.  I’ve been in this fantasy football league for years.  It started out as a league formed by a group of coworkers.  We’ve been at it long enough that none of us are actually coworkers anymore, so it serves as a way to keep in touch with some old pals too.  It’s a partial “keeper” league (we keep our best 4 and draft the rest).  Here’s the breakdown:

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Comedy Gold – The Tale Of The “Wide Stance”

August 30, 2007

I’m just going to follow up on my previous post about Larry Craig, just because I think it’s so damn funny.  The thing I keep chuckling about was the fact that Craig told the undercover airport police officer that the reason his foot had crossed into the adjoining stall was because he had a “wide stance”.  I mean, who poops like that?  I’m just trying to picture it.  It’s pretty funny when you do.  Maybe that in and of itself is “lewd conduct”?  I dunno.

Since I live in Minneapolis, I thought about going down to MSP airport and doing a little “Mythbusters“-style experiment to see just how wide a stance you’d have to have to actually touch the foot of the man in the next stall.  The police report wasn’t too specific about which restroom it was (Northstar Crossing refers to the 100+ restaurants and shops in the Lindbergh terminal), and I’m not sure if I can even get in there (it’s been a while since I’ve flown), so I think I’ve decided against it.  It would make for a funny picture though.

Anyway, speaking of wide stances, The Vikings play another preseason game tonight at 7 PM CST.

Update:  RawStory has the audio of Craig’s arrest where he gives his statement to the officer.  Like I said, comedy gold!

Just the fact that he said “entrapment”, to me, means that he is in fact gay and/or has done that sort of thing before. To claim entrapment basically means “Hey, you were sitting in the stall next to me, what gay man seeking annonymous sex is going to resist that?” LOL


Dogs Against Vick

July 18, 2007

Just last week I highlighted a blog that was inspired by Mitt Romney’s alleged dog abuse, but now it’s probably time to start a new one based on the news regarding NFL star Michael Vick:  Falcons’ Vick indicted by grand jury in dogfighting probe

RICHMOND, Va. — NFL star Michael Vick was indicted by a federal grand jury Tuesday on charges of sponsoring a dogfighting operation so grisly the losers either died in the pit or sometimes were electrocuted, drowned, hanged or shot.

The Atlanta Falcons quarterback and three others were charged with competitive dogfighting, procuring and training pit bulls for fighting and conducting the enterprise across state lines.

The operation was named “Bad Newz Kennels,” according to the indictment, and the dogs were housed, trained and fought at a property owned by Vick in Surry County, Va.

Dogfighting?  DOGFIGHTING!  My goodness.  Where are we, Afghanistan?  (the practice was actually banned under the Taliban, oddly enough).  Is this actually fun to watch?  I can’t imagine being able to stomach it, personally.  There are probably hundreds of things people can gamble and bet on that don’t involve killing man’s best friend. 


EDIT: I removed the pic of the poor dog that was all cut up from fighting. I just didn’t want to look at it anymore.


Rush Limbaugh is still a big fat idiot.

February 8, 2007

Can we get this fat fuck to stop talking sports (or just stop talking)? Apparently everything about sports is racially motivated. First, it was D. Mcnabb being “over-rated”…not so much because he wasn’t as good as he  should have been, but because he was black.  So Donnie goes ahead and proves him wrong, not because he is black, but because he is actually a good quarterback. 

Now, Limpdick claims everyone is hating on Rex Grossman…. not because he is overrated, or throws awful picks and has a bad case of fumblitus, but because he is “white”.

LIMBAUGH: The media, the sports media, has got social concerns that they are first and foremost interested in, and they’re dumping on this guy — Rex Grossman — for one reason, folks, and that’s because he is a white quarterback.

LIMBAUGH: They, they just want this guy not to do well ’cause he’s a white quarterback.

Will someone tell this asshole that what happens on the field is what people are judged by, not the color of their skin? You don’t say that Ryan Leaf failed because he was white, no, it was because he sucked balls.  End of story. Call a spade a spade and move on. I can’t believe this idiot still has a show and morons across the country still give him credit and hang on every word he says. He is a fat drug addict with a warped sense of reality. Fire the idiot.

-Homerculies a.k.a. Sliquid


My Super Bowl Picks

February 4, 2007

I posted the game rules here…, for the record…

1. What will be the result of the coin toss: heads

2. Who will win the coin toss: bears

3. Who will score the first points of the game: bears

4. Will there be a turnover before any points are scored: no

5. Who will score first: bears

6. Who will be leading after the first half: colts

7. Which team will use their challenge first: bears

8. What will be the first song sung by Prince at the halftime show (only one guess): little red corvette

9. Will either team score on their opening drive of the game: yes

10. Will either team score on their opening drive of the second half: no

11. Will there be more or less than three and a half turnovers in the game: more

12. The over/under for the game is at 49. Will the total score be under or over that amount: under

13. Will there be overtime: no

14. Will the Colts cover the 7 point spread: no

15. Who will win the game: colts

16. Will the first points of the game be the result of a touchdown, field goal or a safety: FG

17. Will there be a punt or kickoff return that results in a touchdown: no

I’ll update with my score later 🙂


Super Bowl Game (for pride)

January 26, 2007

I saw this on the fearbush message board, and I thought it’d be fun to repost it here for everyone:

This year lets see how well you know what will happen. Points will be award for the correct answers to the following questions:

1. What will be the result of the coin toss: Heads (1 point) / Tails (1 point)

2. Who will win the coin toss: Colts (1 point) / Bears (1 point)

3. Who will score the first points of the game: Colts (1 point) / Bears (1 point)

4. Will there be a turnover before any points are scored: Yes (1 point) / No (1 point)

5. Who will score first: Colts (1 points) / Bears (1 points)

6. Who will be leading after the first half: Colts (2 points) / Bears (3 points)

7. Which team will use their challenge first: Colts (1 point) / Bears (1 point)

8. What will be the first song sung by Prince at the halftime show (only one guess): (2 points for the correct answer / 1 point if the song is sung but not first)

9. Will either team score on their opening drive of the game: Yes (2 points) / No (1 point)

10. Will either team score on their opening drive of the second half: Yes (2 points) / No (1 point)

11. Will there be more or less than three and a half turnovers in the game: Over (1 point) / Under (1 point)

12. The over/under for the game is at 49. Will the total score be under or over that amount: Over (1 point) / Under (1 point)

13. Will there be overtime: Yes (6 points) / No (1 point)

14. Will the Colts cover the 7 point spread: Yes (1 point) / No (1 point)

15. Who will win the game: Colts (3 points) / Bears (5 points)

16. Will the first points of the game be the result of a touchdown, field goal or a safety: Touchdown (1 point) / Field Goal (1 point) / Safety (3 points)

17. Will there be a punt or kickoff return that results in a touchdown: Yes (3 points) / No (1 point)

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